


drive fast, eat ass

by ImagineDragonflys



Category: Cyberpunk Red, Let's Play Cyberpunk Red - Polygon (Web Series)
Genre: Gays cant drive, Gen, M/M, dumb stuff, oh look more pre-slash from me what a shock wow im sure youre all surprised
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 09:17:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20672960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineDragonflys/pseuds/ImagineDragonflys
Summary: Prompt: Burger Chainz needs to confess the truth... he cant actually drive.





	drive fast, eat ass

**Author's Note:**

> I promise I will actually write about them being together and not just yearning at some point but I'm gay and I yearn and this is what you get.

They’re in the middle of a chase when Vang0 finds out. Really fucking inopportune time honestly. Burger Chainz and Vang0 Bang0 had taken an UberLyftTaxi to their meeting spot. Dressed to the nines (which basically meant dressing like a normal ass civilian for once) and on their best behavior. 

Everything had been going smoothly at first. No one was asking many questions and they had blended into the crowd of the upscale party they’d been at better than they had expected. They’d had it handled. Until someone asked how they’d gotten into business together and simultaneously spit out different answers. Then continued to dig the hole deeper over the next few minutes as they stumbled through an attempt to cover their asses and make the story make sense. 

When Burger had looked around again, he caught a glimpse of their target (a tall, wispy man Dasha had only referred to as Pollux) disappearing into the elevator. The other guests eyeing them suspiciously.

“Well, we blew this one, huh?” Vango said as they started pushing their way through the crowd, people making no effort to hide their chatter about them as they went.

Just before they pushed through the door to the stairwell, Vang0 turned back to the disgruntled looking party guests, raised his hands high above his head in VB style and shouted, “Your party just got crashed by Vang0 Bang0, baby!”

And they took off down the stairs, nearly tripping over themselves and each other as they rushed down. 

The air outside was muggy and moist, the street reflecting the neon lights of downtown, casting everything in a faint purple glow. Burger looked around quickly trying to catch sight of Pollux again. For a moment he thought they’d lost him but a sleek silver car peeled away down the street at a speed that would only make sense if you were _that_ desperate to avoid awkward party conversation or running from something.

“We need a car,” Vang0 said frantically.

“Shit I don’t have the van.”

Vang0 started walking toward the curb, eyeing the various cars, “We’ll just have to take one of these.”

Burger looked at him incredulously, “What like steal it?”

“Borrow,” Vang0 said, slipping his lockpick tool out of his pocket, “We’ll bring it back, don’t worry big guy.”

Burger paced while Vang0 frantically tried to open the door but the lockpick didn’t seem to be working, they were losing time.

“Shit,” said Vang0, then and he looked up at Burger with a distraught expression, “Sorry.”

“Sorry for wh-”

Vang0 brought his elbow swiftly down on the window, shattering it. Glass falling to the ground like crystalline tears. The whole scene would’ve looked cool if Vang0 hadn’t immediately whimpered in pain when the blow hit.

“Didn’t think that would hurt so much,” he said as he reached inside to open the door.

“What the fuck?” Burger said, incredulously.

Vang0 shrugged at him, “We’re losing time. We need the car. Vang0 Bang0 get’s shit done.”

His face crumbles, “Dammit! I didn’t stream any of that!”

Shaking his head quickly he looks up at Burger again, “Come on, we’ve gotta go we might’ve already lost him.”

Vang0 motions toward the drivers’ side and starts to make his way over to the passenger seat. Burger doesn’t move.

“What are you doing we’ve gotta go!”

Burger looks at his feet, shifting awkwardly.

“I, uh, I can’t.”

“Can’t what? Look I’m sorry I broke the window but we’ve gotta go or Dasha is gonna kill us herself. Now let’s _go_!”

“I can’t!” Burger looks directly into Vang0’s frantic eyes now, “I- uh. I don’t actually know how to drive.”

Vang0 is stunned into silence for only a moment before he shifts into high gear again, “What do you mean? You drive all the time? You have a van? You’re like the Van Guy? Of course you know how to drive.”

Burger shakes his head quickly, “Ah, no. I don’t. I’ve had the van forever but Keanu drives it. The AI. It does all the work I just sit behind the wheel and make sure it doesn’t crash us. But a real car? A Keanu-less car? I got no idea.”

He expects Vang0 to be mad. After all he might’ve just lost them their only lead on this case but to his surprise, Vang0 laughs. Loudly, a little unsettlingly even, He’s not used to the sound.

“I can’t believe this. I’ve known you longer than I’ve known anyone and somehow I never knew you didn’t know how to drive? Does Dasha know?”

Burger shakes his head, “I always just say we’ll take the van.”

“Oh my god! Burgs, if I wasn’t positive Dasha is gonna kill us after this, this would be the best day of my life. I can’t believe it-” and he speaks more quietly, almost to himself, “_doesn’t know how to drive…_”

He snaps back into action, more composed and a glint in his eye that Burger knows to mean they’re about to get in some serious shit.

“Alright, I’ll drive. You get passenger’s side, you’ll be the guns if we need ‘em. Let’s track this bastard down.”

Vang0 is already behind the wheel, starting the car with the same contraption that had failed on the locks, when Burger steals himself enough to open the passenger door. His seatbelt clicks into place as the car dully roars to life.

He looks at Vang0, slightly bewildered, “Have you ever driven before?”

“Not this lifetime,” he looks at Burger with a bright grin, “but I think I might’ve. Ya know. _Before_. Can’t be much different from riding a bike right?”

And before Burger Chainz gets the chance to panic, Vang0 has pulled them into the street, speeding in the direction they’d seen Pollux take off in. 

Over the purr of the engine and the wind rushing through the smashed window Vang0 shouts, “Hey buddy! Do me a favor and stream this for me, would you?”

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to yell at me about writing them actually getting together find me @sheriffofmagic on tumblr, that's where i take prompts from


End file.
